April 7, 2020

Should You Say "I Do" When He Proposes?

Isn’t it amazing to think about? That magical day when the love of your life, your Prince Charming, finally gets down on one knee and confesses his undying love for you!

You have a hunch that the man you’re with is going to propose sometime soon, but do you know what you’re going to say? Getting married is a super important decision! How do you know if he’s the one you should be with for the rest of your life?

It’s okay to feel this way, girl! You should be having these questions! It’s one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your life. So today, we’re going to give you 5 things to help you realize if he’s your Prince Charming and if you should say, “Yes!”

1. Can You See Yourself Spending the Rest of Your Life With Him?

Should You Say "I Do" When He Proposes?

One way to know if he’s a great husband for you is if you can see being married to him! You can picture yourselves waking up next to each other every morning, taking out the trash and cleaning the dishes together, going to visit family on holidays, going to the store…

It’s not about those amazing, magical moments that give you a high. It’s about those mundane moments. Those little “life things” that are so important.

Do you enjoy spending time together and doing things together?

Do you even like each other? (Liking and being in love are totally different, FYI!)

Do you get along and have similar interests?

For a while, you’ll have that “honeymoon” feeling and those fresh, newlywed jitters. But that only lasts for a little while! You want to see what life will be like with him after that all goes away.

2. Do You Value the Same Things?

Should You Say "I Do" When He Proposes?

Think about your non-negotiables that you have with your future husband. What are the most important things for you abut him? What are those things that make it or break it for you?

If you haven’t thought about the things that you really want in a husband, then now is the perfect time to do it! I actually had 67 non-negotiables on my list, and I definitely recommend you having a little less on yours. ;) But take some time to write out 10 or so things.

Your non-negotiables should really only include the absolute essentials. (Being 6’4” and having six-pack abs aren’t exactly what we’re going for here, even though it would be amazing!)

So for example:

Does he want kids? Does he love the Lord? Is he good with money? Is he sober and addiction-free? Does he live apart from his parents? Does he love dogs? Does he want to buy a house in his future? Does he love the outdoors?

Think about the most important things for you. And if the man you’re with right now meets those things.

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3. Do You Help Each Other Grow?

Should You Say "I Do" When He Proposes?

Another way you know if he would be a great husband is if you both strengthen each other and grow each other. Does he bring out the best in you, and vice versa?

But it’s not always about bringing out your greatest strengths, but also your greatest weaknesses. Do you challenge each other? Do you point out flaws in each other and encourage each other to work on them?

Marriage isn’t about changing the other person to be someone they’re not, but about doing life together and helping each other evolve and grow for the better.

4. How Do You Handle Conflict?

Should You Say "I Do" When He Proposes?

Conflict. Is. GOOD.

I’m going to say that again.

Conflict is good!

Don’t be afraid of conflict. The media has done such a good job of making us think that conflict is something to be scared of, and a sign that the relationship is doomed.

But it’s not true! At all.

Conflict is very healthy. It allows you to grow and become stronger in your relationship. It would be a bad thing if you weren’t having conflict. So learn to accept and welcome it in your marriage.

So the real question is: how do you handle it?

Do most of your disagreements end in yelling at each other, saying hurtful things, and slamming doors? Do you feel a lot of tension, and does it take days to resolve?

Or is it relatively calm? Do you take the time to talk through it and see it as an opportunity to understand each other’s sides and perspectives? Do you feel closer once it’s resolved, and you tend to talk through it that same day?

Approach conflict with the mentality that you’re on the same side. You’re fighting with each other; not against each other.

5. Does He Draw You Closer to the Lord?

Should You Say "I Do" When He Proposes?

This one is the most important! That’s why I saved it for last. :)

Does being with him and having him in your life strengthen your relationship with God? Does his love for you represent the love that Jesus has for you? Does he encourage you in your walk with the Lord, and does he push you to read Scripture and grow spiritually?

It is so important to have a husband who believes the same things you do, at least on the spiritual level, so that the foundation of your marriage is strong.

If you don’t believe the same things, and they’re really important for you that you do, then there will be a lot of hard times in the marriage. So make sure that you’re both coming from the same place here.

a few last words…

As a last little bit of encouragement, I want to remind you that there is no right or wrong decision for you to make. I used to have a horrible fear that I would choose the wrong husband. That if I said yes to someone who wasn’t the man that God had for me, that I would miss out on my true Prince Charming.

But I realized that it didn’t work that way. God gives us the choice to choose who we marry. We get to choose who we commit our lives to forever.

In every marriage, no matter who it’s with, you will have amazing times, and you will have hard times. No matter what.

So don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make the “right” decision.

Take a step back and look at your relationship. Can you see yourself with him for the rest of your life? Do you share the values that are most important to you? Do you see eye-to-eye on the biggest things?

I hope this blog helped you, girl, and I cannot wait for you to say “Yes!” to the man of your dreams!

Much love,

Chelsey

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